Week ending...

I finished my first week of school. It was rough on me. I think I got spoiled since this summer all I took was online classes so I was at home and could just do my work whenever. Then I had a three-week break before this fall semester. GEEZ..It's killing me! I guess the upside is I only have class two nights out of the week. I have my Accounting class on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons and then I have Embalming Chemistry online. I haven't had an afternoon class in FOREVER so it's really weird to me. And ridiculously busy. I mean the entire UCO campus is always hopping and parking is an absolute NIGHTMARE. There are about 1/3 parking spaces as there are students. Parking gets mean. People are nasty. I basically have to leave my house an hour before my class starts because minus the 20 minute drive, it takes about that long to find a spot...or at least circle around until someone leaves. Yes, crazy. But on a positive note, I absolutely love my classes (except Accounting). Someone please tell me why a funeral service major needs to have Accounting. I swear I am the only one in class who isn't a finance or some kind of business major. This is a required class for my major and I don't like it! I'm also taking Funeral Service Statutory Law and Funeral Service Communication. So interesting! I'm glad to be almost done and taking my major classes are really fun. I'm a junior this year so only a little over a year to go! Also-something totally awesome-Betsy got into Sonshine School at our church! She has been on the waiting list for a while so a spot finally opened for her! Sonshine School is our church's Mother's Day Out program but they offer so much more than just a typical mother's day out. They have chapel time where they learn the Word of God and they also have cooking! I am super excited about this opportunity and I think it is so ideal for Miss Betsy right now. She is not going to Pre-K this year (I will blog on that later) and so our two-day a week Sonshine School is just perfect! Plus I was able to rearrange my school schedule so while she is in school, I will have my accounting class. That way I am not driving 20 minutes so many times a day. Her school starts in couple weeks so lots of adjusting until it's time for her to go. She is really excited. I am so thankful Tony is in the position at his work so that he can rearrange his schedule as needed to really help out. It's important while I am in school since my classes are only available at certain times. Another thing I need to get going is my apprenticeship! I have to apply for that within the next few weeks and then I get to go in front of the Funeral Board and get accepted to be an apprentice! I am WAAAAY excited to do this. That means I am just that much closer to finishing and a great way to get my foot in the door. So my darling Betsy is done reading her night time books with her Daddy. That is my cue to snuggle and rock her to sleep. Wouldn't pass that up for the world. By the way...she's almost FOUR!!!

Wordless Wednesday

March for Babies 2012

If you want to read about our previous March for Babies walks just click on the year. 2011 2010 Our first walk was in 2009-but it got rained out. Wah Wah! I was fortunate enough this year to be asked to be Family Team Chairperson for this year's walk. I couldn't have been more thrilled! My resonsibility was meeting and greeting new familes to the walk as well as helping come up with ideas to make the walk more special and memorable and have input on our family team tent. So fun! I had a committee with some great and very special gals and I think we did an awesome job. It was a new experience for me and I know there were things I could have done better or differently but all in all, it was a success. Our team really rallys together and we always have so much fun. My dad's bank gets crazy involved and helps us raise more money than we could have ever imagined. Team Betsy means everything to me and every year I enjoy it a little bit more. Tony and I have already asked ourselves how long we will participate in the March for Babies. It seems when we meet new families or just the families that come to walk always have babies or small children. We have yet to meet a family that still walks with a teenager preemie..so for us we don't know how much longer we will be walking. For the time being we are loving every minute of it. Here are some pics and at the end picture I will give you the total dollar amount Team Betsy raised. Me, Tony and Betsy just before the walk Team Betsy! My award for Family Team Chairperson Award for Top Walker!! Award for Best T-shirt contest (so far we have won every single year. We are kinda obsessed with the t-shirts) Betsy posing with Elmo Betsy' picture and stats along the "survivor wall". Very emotional and cool feature we had along the walk this year. Here is our basket we received from the March of Dimes. Team Betsy placed 74th out of the top 100 in the UNITED STATES! This is the first year that Oklahoma had two teams place in the top 100. The other team was our new and super awesome friend's team Double Gainers. Team Betsy almost doubled what we raised last year and our team total was....drum roll please....$11,600! We are so humbled and overwhelmed by the people who surround us with support and love for our sweet girls.

March of Dimes Sports Headliner

Most of my followers know about our involvement with the March of Dimes and how much we love and support that organization. We were first asked to be an ambassador family a few years ago at their annual Chef's Auction. It was the first time I would ever talk openly about my triplets and the journey we had. It was a disaster. I cried the entire time and couldn't even speak. Sooooo...when we were approached to once again be an ambassador family for their Sports Headliner Banquet in March of this year I was SUPER excited. I was stronger and felt more relaxed about sharing my story. I practiced my speech over and over again. And when I say speech, I really mean the birth story of my girls and everything Betsy had to go through. I wrote everything out on my iPad so not to leave anything out and brought that on stage with me. This time I got to rehearse before the event actually started so I was on stage with microphone and everything so I could get the full effect. During rehearsal I got choked up a little, because it really is still overwhelming. However, during the live event I have to say I totally rocked it. I stood confident and didn't even feel nervous. I spoke about Grace and Olivia with such power-what I have always wanted to do. I told Betsy's story and as I scanned the audience there were three ladies who cried the entire time. It totally caught me off guard and for a split second I lost track of what I was saying. My story is so meaningful to me and my family but when I see it truly have that effect on total strangers is what really hits home for me. It's amazing to see that. To really know that my girl is having an impact on others. That is exactly what I have always wanted and I felt as though these people really 'got it' and know exactly what a miracle my child is and what all the March of Dimes stands for. It was a beautiful thing and I couldn't have asked for a better outcome. It was a great night. I got to have my mom there and my dad's bank bought a table so I got to have my dad and brother there and some friends which really means so much to me and Tony. I couldn't possibly be where I am today without the support of my family and friends and to have them there sharing something that means so much to all of us really is important. I would love to get the chance to be ambassador family again for other events because I absolutely love it. Maybe one day we can be the feature family for March for Babies since that is my PASSION! Here are some highlights from Sports Headliner: This was at rehearsal. This is a section of the hockey rink that has the March of Dimes logo on it. She was not impressed to have to pose for a pic after being told she could NOT play on the ice. Haha! Our table: Me, Tony and Betsy on our special night In case you live under a rock..this is Chris Harrison...he's kinda famous. And he's so super good looking! Betsy thought so too. Betsy's special Ambassador award she received. This was such a special and fun evening! P.S. I am not sure what is up with this weird formatting. My words are all over the place.

Timeline

So I've been debating what to blog about next and how exactly to get everyone caught up on what is happening with us. So last I really blogged about anything was last October. I will start from there and just give a little brief summary of what has been going on each month or so and get caught up on today! OCTOBER 2011~ *Betsy was Raggedy Ann for Halloween. She really wanted to be Strawberry Shortcake but it's always cold on Halloween and the Strawberry Shortcake outfit was just too short and it had short sleeves. What is a cute costume if you gotta cover it up with a coat so I always like to pick costumes that are warm or can be easily modified to be warm. I found this costume at a consignment store for $20 and decided it was the perfect time to introduce her to Raggedy Ann! She didn't care. She has fun with whatever so until she is a bit older, we have great influence on what she wears! And seriously...how ADORABLE is she?!? DECEMBER 2011~ *I lost one of my favorite men in the entire world. My sweet Pa. There will never be another man like him and no one will ever come close to the kind of person he was. I remember growing up and always being so close to my grandparents and wondering what the day would be like when I would have to say goodbye to one of them. One of the saddest feelings in the world. I miss him terribly but so, so very thankful for all the wonderful memories I have with him. Love you Pa! *The week Pa died was also finals week at school. I had already done all my exams except for Biology and it was scheduled to take place the day after Pa died. Thank goodness I was able to get ahold of my professor and double thank goodness she was so nice and understanding and let me go early the next morning and sit in on her husbands class and take my biology exam. I was so stressed and so sad that I don't know how I passed but I ended up making an A on the final which in turn gave me such awesome grades I was placed on the Dean's Honor Roll! Total brag but so well-deserved if I don't say so myself. *We still went on and managed to have a good Christmas. We had already planned to have Christmas at Ma and Pa's on a certain weekend and that just happened to be the weekend of his funeral. Even though no one really wanted to celebrate Christmas, we still exchanged gifts and made the best out of it for the kiddos. Most of them are old enough to understand but lots of the little ones kept asking where Pa was and that was just so sad. My poor Ma was just so lost and so sad. They had been married for 67 years so all of a sudden what she had known for the past 67 years was gone and she just didn't know what to do. It was just gut-wrenching. *Christmas at our house was fun. I know it will just get better as Betsy gets older but this was the first year she was able to somewhat understand Santa Claus comes and leaves presents and that kind of stuff. This was her on Christmas Eve. We have a tradition of getting Christmas jammies on Christmas Eve but since we had already bought these jammies for a Christmas program at her school (Mother's Day Out) we let her wear them. Sadly, she didn't get to go to her Christmas program because we were out of town due to Pa's passing. Betsy on Christmas Eve. We even made a Gingerbread Christmas Village. EASTER 2012~ *Spent Easter at my grandparent's farm like we do every holiday. Betsy had a blast with her cousins as always and all the little ones decorated giant Easter eggs and we went and put them on Pa's grave and also my cousin Lance's grave which is one spot away from Pa. It was nice and it looked so adorable! We know Pa would have loved that! Here are pics of Betsy dying eggs with her cousins, her posing (kinda!)with her giant egg for Pa, and a pic of her next to her goodies from the Easter bunny. That pretty much sums up our holidays and major events. I am going to follow with a blog about our March of Dimes happenings because pretty exciting stuff going on with that! Of course I didn't touch on everything because I have gotten so far behind it would take me forever to focus on everything and then put me further behind in current events. So there you have it...just some stuff to keep you interested and wow! to see how much Betsy has grown! Hard to imagine her as a tiny 1lb 9 oz miracle! Seems like you blink and she's grown.

Oops...so sorry

Wow. So obviously I haven't had much free time to keep up with this blog. I have been crazy busy with my schooling and it seems like what free time I do have in the evenings I am doing homework or, most likely, catching up on a million DVR'd shows. Betsy goes to bed around 8:30-9, no later, and I'm a sleepy lady by 10. So yup....one solid hour of free time kinda gets filled up fast. I'm going to try my best and I'm sure if I can post just a little every night or every other night then I can keep everyone caught up. So my little lady is growing so fast. She will be 4 years old in just a short couple months. I can't believe it. I am posting this from my iPad so I can't post a picture. Or if I can I haven't figured it out yet. She is so smart. I swear if I would work with her more I bet she could learn to read. She spells out everything and is always asking how to spell things. She can spell and recognize her name, my name, tony's name, mommy, daddy, play, yes, no, stop, up, down, target (maybe I shop there too much), red. The other day I was reading "The Little Red Hen" and she pointed to the word 'hen' and said "that says hen" and then she sounded out the letters. So smart! I don't know...maybe all kids her age can do that and I don't know...but to me she's too smart!! She is still going to her Mother's Day Out one day a week and I also have her in gymnastics for the summer. I'm trying my hardest to get her socialized because I realize it's important at this age but I also am starting to notice that she might be sad she's alone. I mean, she doesn't act sad but she always asks to play with friends and it makes ME really sad because damnit she's supposed to have two permanent playmates. I hate that. I am looking to put her in my church's Sonshine School this fall. It's a Mother's Day Out program but 1) its the same price for two days a week as I'm paying now for one day 2)it's in Edmond so I can correlate it with my school schedule and 3) it's at my church so it's a great Godly environment. Right now she's on the waiting list and I've been told its a short wait list so my fingers are crossed she gets in. Otherwise things are going great and we are enjoying summer! I am taking two classes. They are online classes so I move at my own pace. It's been nice, I mean really nice, not having class in the evenings and being able to be at home with my family. I didn't realize how much I missed cooking dinner until I wasn't doing it 5 nights a week. We got a double park pass to White Water (water park) and Frontier City (amusement park) and we have practically lived there! We all love the water park and probably go there at least three times a week for a few hours each time. We get there when most are leaving, fill up our souvenir cup with ice water and we are good to go! Betsy is a total fish just like her mama. We have a blast! Another thing we did as a family was change churches. We loved our little church here by our house but since it's such a small church there wasnt many other children Betsy's age for her to interact with. So we made the decision to go back to the church I grew up in. They have a huge children's ministry and I have to say when we returned it was like we were never gone. Sitting through church I felt so good. Like I truly felt "home". It was a great feeling. Tony and I have been going to the Young Families class and we love it. Betsy absolutely loves Children's Bible Hour that she goes to during sermon. It's a huge ministry so there is never a shortage of friends. So happy to be there. I'm sure I will think of more that I should have added but my one hour of free time is up and I'm ready for bed! The only reason I'm writing tonight is Betsy went with her Grammy and Grampy and cousins to the baseball game then over for a late night swim to cool off (it's 100 degrees tonight). So even though it's way past her usual bedtime (it's now 10pm and she will be home shortly) I know she is having a blast. It's so hard to make sacrifices sometimes as a mom because usually she is in bed no later than 9pm, but I have to think how much fun she's having and really, what does it hurt her staying up late one night? Man...I've come a long way!

Brown Bunny

I have met so many other babylost mothers either through this blog, facebook or just support groups in general. Most of the mothers I have met place some kind of symbolism on their child in the form of animals. Whether it be butterflies, dragonflies, doves or even bluejays. Now that I put it in writing I can see the consensus is mostly things that obviously fly. I am the type of person that places symbolism on a lot of different things. I am very sentimental and believe in the 'signs' that I probably really just make up in my head if they seem appropriate to relate to something. Regardless, the story of my neighborhood brown bunny I think, is a pretty good one. Maybe you can find the symbolism as well.

When I was released from the hospital after I had the triplets, I remember so much looked different. I had been in the hospital on complete bed rest for over 2 weeks and so much looked different as I watched the road pass from the passenger seat window. The hospital is only a 10 minute drive from our house but there is lots of buildings on the way. I was surprised how some buildings were no longer standing, and there were even a few new ones. I don't know, just overall the entire world looked so different. Maybe I had too much on my mind. I had just lost Grace 3 days before and my other two girls were fighting for their lives. It was so weird to leave the hospital without them and so I am sure my mind was elsewhere. The point of me telling that is maybe I had seen this bunny before and just didn't realize it or even think about it.

So driving through the back of our neighboorhood I see this little brown bunny hopping around in someone's yard. At that very moment that I saw it I immediately placed Grace's symbolism on it. I thought to myself, 'I've never seen that bunny in all the years I've lived here and then all of a sudden I see a bunny?' It is pretty random to see a bunny hopping around freely. So very briefly I thought that was my girl Grace letting me know she was okay.

It was nice to see that bunny but to be quite honest I didn't think about it again. After all, I'm sure it was just a one-time thing to see it and so that was that. But a few days later after coming home from visiting the girls in the hospital I saw the bunny again. Except this time that brown bunny was sitting right in the middle of my yard. It had made it's way from the very back of the neighborhood to my yard. Not just anyone's front yard but MY front yard.

As soon as we would pull into the driveway he would hop away but that doesn't matter. He was THERE and he stayed just long enough for me to see him. This happened about 3-4 days in a row. So time passed, days turned into weeks and I began seeing the bunny less frequently. At one point I had actually gone many months without seeing him. Then very sporadically I would see him just hanging around. Sometimes in our yard, sometimes down the street. But he wasn't far.

Eventually I quit seeing that bunny and I just assumed he was gone. I am not sure on the life span of a bunny but after a few years of just seeing him on occasion it kinda got lost in my memory. It had been a long time since I had seen him. I finally saw him again coming home one evening in the month of June of this year and I stopped my car to take a picture but it was too dark. I guess I should mention I usually only saw him in the evenings. The only time I had seen him during the day was the first few months he started coming around. So, after the record-breaking heat we had this summer I got to thinking about that bunny and if he was still around and if he had found some shelter in the heat.

So a few months passed and once again, I quit seeing him that much. Late in the month of August, a dear friend of mine gave birth to her beautiful daughter, Hailey who was stillborn. That very day she lost her baby who popped up in my yard but that brown bunny. I literally got chills all over my body. Was it Grace letting me know she knew about Hailey and she was okay? I prayed that night that I would be able to be of some comfort to my friend Ashley and her husband and so maybe the bunny was put there to let me know all was going to be okay.

A few weeks later I had Ashley and her daughter over so she and Betsy could play. Ashley and I were sitting in the living room talking about Hailey, Grace and Olivia. I had the front door open because Tony had just come home. All of a sudden, brown bunny hopped into my front yard and stopped right outside the door as though he was looking right into the house. I almost started crying. So I told Ashley about the symbolism of the bunny and how strange it had been soooo long since I had seen him and he (1) shows up the day her little girl passed away and then (2) actually shows up DURING THE DAY--which has never happened--and shows up the very day she is at my house. I swear if that bunny doesn't hold some kind of symbolism then it's timing is just too perfect. I love brown bunny.