Tuesday, March 30, 2010

See Less of Laci

Well, I debated for a long time on whether I wanted to put anything on here about my weight loss journey because I don't want to take the focus away from the real reasons I write this blog..to honor the memory of Grace and Olivia and share the journey of Betsy.

After much hesitation and some deliberation, I decided to go ahead and post. I have always struggled with my weight. Every since my parents divorced. I started putting on the weight when I was about 10 or 11 and unfortunately it just continues to spiral out of control. I've gotten to the point of embarassement. Sad, I know.

So I decided to blog about this because I need to be held accountable. So, so, so, so many times I have joined a weight loss program and did very well on it, only to ALWAYS plateau at about 20 pounds. Then BAM! I was done. I would quit. I can't do that any more. I NEED to be healthy. I have the most beautiful, precious miracle on the face of this Earth and if I can't be healthy for her I am afraid I won't live to hold my grandbabies. I want to be able to play with her without becoming winded. I want to climb on playground equipment with her and not be too fat to enjoy tunnels, slides, swings. I know I am totally airing my dirty laundry but I'm so sick of being this way and I am owning up to it and doing this!

It's not that I overeat. I don't just sit and pig out all day long and eat until I explode. I just don't eat healthy. I was raised with good ole country cooking and that means butter and gravy and fried, fried, fried! So, I'm on Weight Watchers. I've been on it a thousand times before but this time I'm not quitting.

I have to say...I get pretty discouraged. Every since I had the girls I CANNOT lose weight like I used to. I don't know if all the fertility treatments really messed up my body or what. I used to could drop 4-5 pounds in a week and now I struggle to lose 2 pounds in a week. However, my new mentality is this, at least it's coming off.

Since I was married almost 6 years ago I have put on 80 pounds. Yes, that's right people, I said 80 pounds. Hard to believe I was ever 80 pounds lighter. It's weird. I don't remember getting that big. I know it wasn't overnight but it felt like it. I don't buy clothes that often so when I did and I was a bigger size, I just thought it had been so long their sizes changed. HAHAHA! Seriously...I'm that far gone.

So anyway, every Tuesday I weigh-in at my house and record my weight. Whether it is a gain or loss, I write it down and that's what I stick to. It's coming off. It's slowly coming off. I have been going now for 11 weeks and am now down 13.5 pounds. Not that impressive but still a big loss nonetheless.

My goal is to be the weight I was when I got married by my birthday next year. Summer of 2011. According to my calorie counter I can do it. I will still be considered "overweight" but by no means will I be obese. Once I hit that weight then I will set another goal and/or continue to maintain that weight.

I can't wait. I'm so motivated and my drive is BIG this time. It's Betsy. Not only does my family want this and I want this, but I gotta do this for Betsy. I have overcome so much with the loss of my girls, I figure weight is the least I could do. If I can handle that...then this is small fries (no pun intended here!).

I'm out to impress you people so watch out!! Sure, I make mistakes. Every so often my body just HAS to have that extra cheesy hamburger ya know. But...I literally take one day at a time and the very next day I am back on. Not like before where if I made one mistake then my whole week was shot. Then my whole month. Then forget it. I was done. Nope. This time it's coming off and staying off!

I would love to post a before and after pic but I don't think I have any full body pictures of me to show. I truly avoid those at all costs. I will dig around and if I find anything then I will post. I will periodically post pics so you all can see the difference. Right now, I doubt there is any difference as it's taking it's own sweet time to leave my body. It's frustrating. How come I can't lose 5 pounds in a week but I sure can put it on. Oh well....I hope you all enjoy seeing less of me!!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Wordless Wednesday

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Wordless Wednesday

Sunday, March 14, 2010


A few of you have been asking me how to post comments to my blog. I have received so many sweet comments through my facebook links and I would love to have them on my blog.

At the end of the blog you will see where it says "0 comments". Just click on that and it will let you post a comment.

I would love to know what everyone thinks of my posts so feel free to leave me comments and say whatever you feel!

Thank you for sharing our journey with us.

I Miss Them

Dear Mommy & Daddy,

I see you each time you shed a tear,
I catch it and kiss you, I hope that you know that I'm near.
This place is so beautiful, There's so much to see!
I know that someday you'll be here with me.
The angels were singing when I arrived!
Jesus was there with His arms open wide!
The snow and the rain are just my confetti.
I know you'll be coming and I want to be ready.
When you feel the wind, it's me walking by.
I can run and skip now, I can even fly!
When the blossoms and leaves fall into your hair,
It's me planting kisses, yes, I put them there!
The birds are singing to keep you company,
They're especially for you with love from me.
I know that you miss me and feel so alone,
Until the great day when you finally come home
Please remember as the seasons change from one to another,
I'll always love you. You're my friend and my mother.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

One Sick Chick

Well we have been so fortunate that Betsy has never gotten sick. We always said that the four months she was in the hospital after birth should make up for any sickness she should ever have! Well, I suppose it was inevitable. Betsy finally got sick.

Monday she developed a cough and runny nose. She has had a bit of a chest cold before which was easily treated with a humidifier and plenty of liquids. By Tuesday her cough seemed worse. She was breathing very heavy and that evening she developed a fever up to 101.2. This was scary for us since Betsy has never had fever. She was obviously not her little bubbly self and was pretty cranky. She just did not feel good. By 6:00 in the evening she had fallen asleep. I called her pediatrician and while awaiting a call back Betsy woke up and seemed to have a second wind. She was playing a little and we even shared a popsicle.

When the pediatrician called me back she could hear Betsy playing in the background. She said since Betsy wasn't lethargic it wasn't necessary to take her to the emergency room but she wanted to see her first thing in the morning to make sure it wasn't something serious. Tuesday night before bed Betsy's fever had gone down a little but was still at 99.8. I dressed her lightly and put her to bed. She coughed and fussed until 11 pm. I was just going to pick her up and hold her but she was asleep so I didn't want to disturb her or make things worse. I took her temp again and gave her another dose of Tylenol. She slept peacefully after that all the way up to almost 9 am Wednesday morning.

I loaded her up and took her to the doctor. I felt so sorry for her because she wanted so back to play and laugh but just didn't feel good at all. She did nothing but lay on my shoulder and kinda whine. My heart just broke. It sucks when your baby is sick and you are so helpless.

First thing the doctor tested her for was RSV. As a preemie, RSV is a very dangerous thing to have and she was vaccinated for it last year. Unfortunately she didn't meet standards for qualification this year and didn't get the shot. Anyway, her RSV came back negative (thank you God) and also her flu test came back negative. Her pediatrician checked her over and found she had a double ear infection! Are you kidding me!?! One of my ultimate fears for Betsy was catching an ear infection and I felt I did everything to prevent one. No laying down to drink, elevated bed, covering ears everytime we are outside. Who knows how she got it but she got it. Yuck.

The next thing she did was check her pulse ox. Betsy was only saturating between 90 and 92 percent on room air. Not so good. She got a breathing treatment with albuterol and Pulmicort and like the snap of my fingers she felt better. I imagine that felt really good and helped her breath tremendously. She referred me to the radiology clinic to get Betsy a chest x-ray. She didn't suspect pneumonia but just wanted to make sure that she didn't have it and we needed to be treating her more aggressively.

Before we left the office Betsy got an antibiotic shot to help with the ear infections. So now I have a baby girl who already doesn't feel so hot who just got stuck with a big needle. Ugh...could she please just catch a break.

Next we went to get a chest x-ray. That wasn't much better. She was very cooperative and sat very still but she was scared and she cried and reached out for me the entire time. I was almost in tears. If this girl was old enough to go get ice cream I would have bought her 10 scoops.

So, end result, Betsy does NOT have pneumonia. She does have bronchitis and there was a hazy spot on her lung that they suspect may be the beginning stages of pneumonia. The medications that the doctor gave me will take care of all of this and it won't get worse. Betsy has to take two breathing treatments a day and then an antibiotic.

Today, Thursday, Betsy seems to be feeling better. This antibiotic did wonders for her and she is ALMOST back to her normal self. She is a little crankier than usual and she hasn't been eating very well. You can just look in her eyes and tell she isn't herself.

So now I know what it's like to really have a sick kiddo. I know it would happen eventually but I sure thought we would have a "free ride" card after all we have been through and that Betsy would just magically never get sick. Hahaha..I'm sure God is laughing at that!

Here is a picture of Betsy seeing her Get Well balloons and teddy bear from her Grammy and Grampy. They were delivered while she was napping and she was happy to discover them!

This is my sweet baby receiving her breathing treatment. She is such a good girl and just sits so nicely during her treatment.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Wordless Wednesday

Monday, March 8, 2010


I have to say, I am having the time of my life with Betsy. I feel so fortunate that I am able to stay at home and be with her all the time. I couldn't imagine if I had to take her to daycare or some kind of babysitter while I worked. Not that I look down on anyone who has to do that. I worked in daycare for 5 years and there is nothing wrong with it. I understand there are parents who have no other option. However, mommy is always the best! I love getting to spend all day with just us and it's not a daycare provider playing with her, feeding her, putting her down for naps and teaching her. It's me.

I was doing a lot of reflecting lately and how different my life with be like with the triplets. Betsy is hitting that toddler stage and sometimes will do things to push her limits. There are days where I am frustrated by the time Tony gets home and I just need a moment alone. So this makes me feel guilty at times. If I had the triplets, I probably would not have a choice to go be alone. How would I do it all day by myself? If I get over-whelmed with one little girl, how about all three? Would it even be possible to stay at home? I am sure there are so many things that would be different.

There is nothing more wonderful to me than the beauty of Betsy. I adore everything about her. My step-mom told me the other day how good of a job I am doing taking care of Betsy and she loves the fact I am able to stay home. It's good to hear that. I appreciate the fact that someone notices how hard I work with Betsy and how much I do with her everyday. I try really hard. I know socialization is good for her and she gets to play with her friends at church every week and I am also getting ready to join a Moms Group during the day. She has a lot of family members that she plays with as well. We are so happy.

Thank you to my wonderful husband who works so hard at what he does so that I have the opportunity to stay at home with our baby. I love my little family!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Wordless Wednesday