Tuesday, March 30, 2010

See Less of Laci

Well, I debated for a long time on whether I wanted to put anything on here about my weight loss journey because I don't want to take the focus away from the real reasons I write this blog..to honor the memory of Grace and Olivia and share the journey of Betsy.

After much hesitation and some deliberation, I decided to go ahead and post. I have always struggled with my weight. Every since my parents divorced. I started putting on the weight when I was about 10 or 11 and unfortunately it just continues to spiral out of control. I've gotten to the point of embarassement. Sad, I know.

So I decided to blog about this because I need to be held accountable. So, so, so, so many times I have joined a weight loss program and did very well on it, only to ALWAYS plateau at about 20 pounds. Then BAM! I was done. I would quit. I can't do that any more. I NEED to be healthy. I have the most beautiful, precious miracle on the face of this Earth and if I can't be healthy for her I am afraid I won't live to hold my grandbabies. I want to be able to play with her without becoming winded. I want to climb on playground equipment with her and not be too fat to enjoy tunnels, slides, swings. I know I am totally airing my dirty laundry but I'm so sick of being this way and I am owning up to it and doing this!

It's not that I overeat. I don't just sit and pig out all day long and eat until I explode. I just don't eat healthy. I was raised with good ole country cooking and that means butter and gravy and fried, fried, fried! So, I'm on Weight Watchers. I've been on it a thousand times before but this time I'm not quitting.

I have to say...I get pretty discouraged. Every since I had the girls I CANNOT lose weight like I used to. I don't know if all the fertility treatments really messed up my body or what. I used to could drop 4-5 pounds in a week and now I struggle to lose 2 pounds in a week. However, my new mentality is this, at least it's coming off.

Since I was married almost 6 years ago I have put on 80 pounds. Yes, that's right people, I said 80 pounds. Hard to believe I was ever 80 pounds lighter. It's weird. I don't remember getting that big. I know it wasn't overnight but it felt like it. I don't buy clothes that often so when I did and I was a bigger size, I just thought it had been so long their sizes changed. HAHAHA! Seriously...I'm that far gone.

So anyway, every Tuesday I weigh-in at my house and record my weight. Whether it is a gain or loss, I write it down and that's what I stick to. It's coming off. It's slowly coming off. I have been going now for 11 weeks and am now down 13.5 pounds. Not that impressive but still a big loss nonetheless.

My goal is to be the weight I was when I got married by my birthday next year. Summer of 2011. According to my calorie counter I can do it. I will still be considered "overweight" but by no means will I be obese. Once I hit that weight then I will set another goal and/or continue to maintain that weight.

I can't wait. I'm so motivated and my drive is BIG this time. It's Betsy. Not only does my family want this and I want this, but I gotta do this for Betsy. I have overcome so much with the loss of my girls, I figure weight is the least I could do. If I can handle that...then this is small fries (no pun intended here!).

I'm out to impress you people so watch out!! Sure, I make mistakes. Every so often my body just HAS to have that extra cheesy hamburger ya know. But...I literally take one day at a time and the very next day I am back on. Not like before where if I made one mistake then my whole week was shot. Then my whole month. Then forget it. I was done. Nope. This time it's coming off and staying off!

I would love to post a before and after pic but I don't think I have any full body pictures of me to show. I truly avoid those at all costs. I will dig around and if I find anything then I will post. I will periodically post pics so you all can see the difference. Right now, I doubt there is any difference as it's taking it's own sweet time to leave my body. It's frustrating. How come I can't lose 5 pounds in a week but I sure can put it on. Oh well....I hope you all enjoy seeing less of me!!


Ashley and Jason Faucett said...

I hear ya! Of course my problem is even getting started! I am currently at the heaviest weight I've ever been w/o a baby inside me! :) We can totally get together and set a plan and stick with it TOGETHER! I need to make this happen too; so if we do it together and both of us being determined, we can do it! I was going to do it w/ my friend Terri, but then she got pregnant! :) So if you're up for it I'm up for it! We can do it for our girls!!