Tuesday, July 27, 2010

There Will Be a Day

One of my favorite songs. I only discovered it after the girls died and I started to really take notice in particular songs and soak in the lyrics and true meanings. I found quite a few that I really liked, ones that seem to speak directly to me and my loss. Upon researching this song, I found out that the artist, Jeremy Camp, had lost his first wife to ovarian cancer. So the words really meant the same to both of us, as we had suffered a great loss. It brings tears to my eyes every time I hear the song because I can't wait for that day...the day where there will be no more heart and no more pain. There will be a day I get to see Grace and Olivia again and all the loved ones that will pass between us.

My favorite verse in the song is this:
Troubled soul don't lose your heart
Cause joy and peace he brings
And the beauty that's in store
Outweighs the hurt of life's sting

But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering.

I especially cling to the words "the beauty that's in store outweighs the hurt of life's sting". That is amazing. It says to me that no matter how hard it is down here, how hard I miss my girls and how much it hurts me every single day, it will all be worth it in the end because nothing else will ever matter. That is overwhelming at times, for me to think about the day that I get to see them again.

I am really trying to be better in my Christian walk so that I feel more confident in my eternity. Sometimes it is hard for me to set aside things that really don't have that much of a significance and focus on things as how Christ would want me to focus on them. I hope that I can lead Betsy down the same path and teach her to be a good Christian woman. I am trying to lead by example and God willing he will guide me in the right direction. I try to steer Tony that way as well. We both sometimes fall short of our Christian duties and that really scares me. I am so afraid of not making it into heaven and seeing the Lord's face as well as my baby girls. All I can do is continue trying and every day praying for guidance I need.

I know that there will be a day...a day with no more worries and no more of this earthly vessel. Life is so precious and our time here is limited.

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we'll see Jesus face to face

I can't wait until that day where the very one I've lived for always will wipe away the sorrow that I've faced
To touch the scars that rescued me from a life of shame and misery...

One day God will wipe away my tears and all the sorrow that was in my life and he will lift me up to be reunited with my babies. Until that time comes...and Lord willing it will be a long time from now...I have to hold onto his words and hold onto his promise that there WILL be a day.