New Dreams

So it's officially the first week of a new year. I'm not one to ever make New Year's Resolutions because, well, everyone knows those are so cliche and no one really ever sticks to them. I do however, have dreams for this year. Some I won't share right now as I would like to keep them private but I will share my personal dream and dreams I have for our family and Betsy.

My ultimate dream this year is to go back to school. I have many, many things I need to check into but my goal is to look into these things within this week. I am planning a visit to University of Central Oklahoma where they have a WONDERFUL funeral service program. My dream since I was in high school was to become a funeral director/mortician. I know some of you may cringe or have a question mark above your head but I truly have this desire. Hey someone has to do it, right? I have always had a fascination with funerals and how they work and what it takes to prepare a body. My life experiences have made me want to do it for a little different of a reason now. I really want to be able to talk with families and offer my support and sympathy from someone who HAS lost people so dear to me. I started some classes in this program when I was fresh out of high school and really struggled with some of the science/math classes. I'm still not a champion in those fields but I truly believe now that I am older this will be to my benefit. I think many funeral homes would rather hire someone a little older and wiser for this particular field as opposed to someone young. Just my insight. I was hesitant at first simply due to my age. I'm 32 years old and I just wasn't sure it would be smart to start school and ultimately finish when I'm in my late 30s. However, I will be getting older regardless if I am in school or not so I might as well make the most of it. In just 3 more years Betsy will be starting kindergarten (whoa!) and the timing, I think, will be perfect. Even if (and I hope its not the case) I'm 40 when I finish school, that would still give me a good 25-30 years working doing what I am passionate about. So that is my ultimate dream for myself this year. I hope and I pray that I can make this happen and there aren't too many barriers in the way that I have to hurdle.

I have been so fortunate that I have been able to stay home with Betsy. I COULD NOT ASK for a better full-time job than spending time with her and watching her grow and learn every single day of her life. I think this is every mommy's dream is to be able to be at home with her little one(s). I have been so very thankful for my husband, Tony, that he has really worked hard for this family so that I am able to be at home. He started out at Hertz over 13 years ago as a reservation agent and has successfully kept moving up so now he is a supervisor. He has never complained about working and I can tell he really enjoys his career path. There are times he feels inadequate about not going to college and getting a degree and I just have to make him realize what we have and where we are. As the man of the house, he has always wanted to provide for his family and do what he could to make things easier on me and Betsy. I couldn't be more proud of him and what all he has accomplished. I think it really shows the depth of a real man who goes out and provides for his family. I will forever be thankful for him for those reasons. My dream for my sweet husband is that he continue to do the best he can at everything he does.

My dreams for Betsy will be never-ending. I guess as a parent you will never quit having hopes and dreams for your children. She has flourished into an amazing little toddler and I couldn't be luckier to have her. She is the best little girl. She is really growing up and her speech is just taking right off. If you remember, Betsy is slightly delayed in her speech but she is totally getting caught up and amazing us every day. Betsy can count to 10, which has been a recent accomplishment, and she can say all her colors while appropriately pointing to 4 of them. Still a little delayed in some areas but wow! we are impressed with how quickly she is picking up on stuff. She repeats everything we say and although we are working hard on having her string together two words, there are about 4 or 5 things she will say where she uses two words. She says a new word literally every single day and the first time she said "wuv you" Tony and I cried. I don't care how delayed she is and what we may discover in the future that she can or can't do due to her prematurity. The point is she is ALIVE and she is HEALTHY. That was always my dream for her and I will continue to have milestones to dream up for her. We are just blessed beyond belief watching her become the little girl we always, always dreamed about.

My goals for this family are just this: To work extra hard to be a family. There are many times we take for granted what we have and we need to learn to focus more on the love we have for each other than anything else. We need to remember what brought us together in the first place and what made us fall in love. We need to remember how fragile life truly is and how easy people can be snatched away from us. There are more times than not when Tony and I lose our patience with each other and then I have to think about my sweet cousin Lance's fiance, who won't get those moments back with him and I have to stop and think. There are times I may get frustrated with Betsy for not listening or for tantrums, etc. and then I think about how lucky I am to even have her, when I lost her sisters. Life truly is a blessing and sometimes we let that slip through our fingers.

"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for."
-Greek philosopher