Stop Growing Up, PLEASE

It seems like time is literally flying. I remember when Betsy was a little baby someone stopped us outside a restaurant to look at her and commented on how fast they grow and to enjoy every single moment. I feel like I do that but then I turn around and she's grown so much more. I swear I wish I could bottle her laugh and keep it forever. I wish I could keep her innocent, take away her fears and anxieties and never let anything ever hurt her. I wish she would never know pain and never have a stress in the world. I wish that every single time she looked at me she would know I would do anything in the entire world for her. I hope she never doubts my love for her and I pray that she can talk to me about anything. May there never be a time where she won't need me. I love this little girl more than life itself and I thank the Lord for sparing this precious miracle and giving me the little girl I have always wanted.

There were times when I was pregnant with the triplets that I imagined how all three of them would play together. I wholeheartedly wish Betsy knew what it was like to play with a sibling. I hope that she doesn't hold that against us one day and wonder why we never had a brother or sister for her to play with. I strongly believe that she will understand and that in due time she will know that the decision her mommy and daddy made not to have any more children (even if we could conceive naturally) was probably in the best interest. The thought of losing another baby is too much to deal with and although I hope she never feels that pain, I do hope she understands.

In this year of 2013, she will start Pre-K. To say I have anxiety about this is the hugest understatement. I have been dreading that moment since she was two years old. She is MY baby and the thought of sending her off to school scares the bejeezus out of me. I may be a slightly paranoid overprotective extra caring parent but I worry so much about her and I think the thought of sending her to school scares me because it means I am not in control. What if she doesn't have any friends? What if she is teased? What is the teacher is mean to her? What if she falls and gets hurt? And my utmost fear-what if she is kidnapped? I know I sound crazy but seriously folks, I literally shake with anxiety of sending her to school. She is just so little, so young, so...MINE.

I have so many hopes and dreams for her future. I pray every single night that I am doing things right and that I am a good mother because there are days I have my doubts. Is that normal? I only have one shot at this and I want to make sure it's perfect. I want her to have everything she wants in life and I hope I'm steering her in the right direction. Yes we spoil her. She is our one and only and in my opinion I don't think a child can be spoiled as long as it's done properly.

As I sit here and type this and listen to her over the monitor sleeping so soundly, I can't help but think about how our lives would be so different in we had all three girls. I can only imagine the chaos and the fun we would have. But as I wonder how things would be so different with Grace, Betsy and Olivia, I also reflect on how things are right now. I wish with every ounce of my being that I had all my girls here every second of every day. But I also am thankful for having the opportunity to just have a child at all. A child that I can't believe is 4 years old.

Betsy Linn, you are the absolute light of my life. No one could love you more.

Finally

A few months ago our computer totally went out which makes blogging almost impossible. It's too hard to type a blog from our Ipad and plus I can't add pics when typing on the Ipad either so anyway, my most awesome mother got us a new laptop for Christmas and so yay! I can blog again.

I've been on my Christmas break from school for two weeks, which means I go back in two weeks (BOO!). It's not TOO bad-I only have a year and a semester left so that is great. I am hoping I didn't bite off more than I can chew with this upcoming semester. I just don't have that many classes left and trying to get all my classes in is proving to be pretty challenging. I am making a HUGE change in my schedule, not by my choice really but because it is the only time these classes are offered, so when I go back on January 14th, I will be going in the mornings and Tony will be working evenings. That's a flip-flop from what we have been doing as I have been taking evening classes. So that will be a change for us and I hope that Betsy will adjust okay to the change as well. She will be spending more day time with Tony so I am sure she will enjoy that. As for me...well on certain mornings I will be getting up at 5:30am and I haven't done that in a reeeeeeeaaaaaalllly long time! But I am pretty excited. I will be home in the afternoon and evening time and I am looking forward to the change. I am so thankful Tony can rearrange his schedule and that his boss and co-workers are willing to work with him so well. I do feel bad that he will be working evening hours but we have to do what we have to do to get me through school. It won't be for long and then we can go back to some normalcy. I am so ready to graduate! I think this will be such an amazing chapter in our lives and I never would have thought I would have finished college and earned a degree. It's exciting. Nowadays it's so hard to lead the live you want to live without both adults of a household working and Lord knows we have had our struggles. I am moving forward to provide the kind of life we so want for Betsy.

Our Christmas was wonderful. I said it last year but it rings true again this year--it just keeps getting better. I tell ya, when you have a little one in the house, Christmas has a whole new meaning and it's such a fun feeling to see her sweet little face light up, I mean it just makes my heart completely melt! Here is Betsy on Christmas morning in her new jammies she got to open on Christmas Eve.



She is the complete light of my life!!

Sonshine School

Last week Betsy started preschool at our church. It's called Sonshine School and it's two days a week from 9:30-2:30. It is cheaper than what I was paying at her old Mother's Day Out and that was only one day a week. I was excited to get the call she was accepted after being on the waiting list for a while. I love this because it is at our church and they incorporate Biblical lessons into their curriculum. She recognizes lots of friends from church so that was fun for her. This week was her first full week and I was slightly anxious about how she would do since she hasn't experienced a two-day a week program. She loves it and of course her teachers have wonderful things to say about her every day I pick her up. I was able to find a class that works with my school schedule that coorelates with her time at school so it works perfect. I drop her off and go hang out at my mom's house for a couple hours (she lives really close to UCO) and have those wonderful two hours to do NOTHING but sit and watch TV. Ahhhh...so nice! So after my class ends I have a little time to kill before picking Betsy back up. I have enjoyed it because now on those two days I don't have evening classes! Yippee!

If this is a precursor to Pre-K then she will do awesome. As for me? I'm not so sure. It's a really, really hard pill to swallow to watch your one and only baby grow up and move onto big milestones.

Here is Betsy on her first day at Sonshine School. She is just such a beam of light! I took this picture, got her situated in her class, kissed and hugged her a million more times then bolted to my car and sat there for about 10 minutes and cried.

My baby isn't so much a baby...

She's a big girl now at 4 years old.
We had her birthday at a bouncy house this year and it was a big hit. The birthdays past we have had her birthday party outside which I have always enjoyed because I love making her birthday a big deal. She is a big deal and her birthay was a big deal. I always want to make sure it is a very special time for her. It has just been so stinkin' hot!

This year was extra special because all of her cousins came from out of town and spent our special day with us. That meant so much to me and Betsy loved having everyone there! As she gets older it is so fun to watch her make friends and to see how she interacts with each different friend. She is very social and I thought it was neat how she made a point at her party to play with each person.

Of course we always remember Grace and Olivia at Betsy's parties, but this year we chose to remember and celebrate them in private which I enjoyed. I certainly don't want to make any one uncomfortable at the party and Betsy is old enough to ask questions and so I felt this year was best to remember my angels just between our family. It seems so crazy to think I should have three 4-year-olds.

I got a cute idea from a mom friend of mine, to make a birthday chain to count down the days until her 4th birthday! This was fun and an activity that actually held Betsy's attention so it was a WIN! situation.
All the links decorated and ready to make into a chain


The finished chain


This year I got a little crafty and made a birthday dress for Betsy. I think I did pretty good!


Notice the butterflies on the back-for her sisters


Here are a few pictures from Betsy's birthday party. I wish I could have gotten all her friends together for a group pic. I regret that. The best I have is everyone darting in different directions...they all liked the bounce house apparently. Haha! I am so blessed for the friends and family that are in our lives.






On Betsy's real birthdate we took her to Toys R Us to let her pick out her very own bike. She is part of the birthday club so she got hooked up with a birthday crown and a birthday balloon.


Betsy and her new bike from Mommy and Daddy


Happy Birthday to my tiny miracle...who isn't so tiny anymore.

Week ending...

I finished my first week of school. It was rough on me. I think I got spoiled since this summer all I took was online classes so I was at home and could just do my work whenever. Then I had a three-week break before this fall semester. GEEZ..It's killing me! I guess the upside is I only have class two nights out of the week. I have my Accounting class on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons and then I have Embalming Chemistry online. I haven't had an afternoon class in FOREVER so it's really weird to me. And ridiculously busy. I mean the entire UCO campus is always hopping and parking is an absolute NIGHTMARE. There are about 1/3 parking spaces as there are students. Parking gets mean. People are nasty. I basically have to leave my house an hour before my class starts because minus the 20 minute drive, it takes about that long to find a spot...or at least circle around until someone leaves. Yes, crazy. But on a positive note, I absolutely love my classes (except Accounting). Someone please tell me why a funeral service major needs to have Accounting. I swear I am the only one in class who isn't a finance or some kind of business major. This is a required class for my major and I don't like it! I'm also taking Funeral Service Statutory Law and Funeral Service Communication. So interesting! I'm glad to be almost done and taking my major classes are really fun. I'm a junior this year so only a little over a year to go! Also-something totally awesome-Betsy got into Sonshine School at our church! She has been on the waiting list for a while so a spot finally opened for her! Sonshine School is our church's Mother's Day Out program but they offer so much more than just a typical mother's day out. They have chapel time where they learn the Word of God and they also have cooking! I am super excited about this opportunity and I think it is so ideal for Miss Betsy right now. She is not going to Pre-K this year (I will blog on that later) and so our two-day a week Sonshine School is just perfect! Plus I was able to rearrange my school schedule so while she is in school, I will have my accounting class. That way I am not driving 20 minutes so many times a day. Her school starts in couple weeks so lots of adjusting until it's time for her to go. She is really excited. I am so thankful Tony is in the position at his work so that he can rearrange his schedule as needed to really help out. It's important while I am in school since my classes are only available at certain times. Another thing I need to get going is my apprenticeship! I have to apply for that within the next few weeks and then I get to go in front of the Funeral Board and get accepted to be an apprentice! I am WAAAAY excited to do this. That means I am just that much closer to finishing and a great way to get my foot in the door. So my darling Betsy is done reading her night time books with her Daddy. That is my cue to snuggle and rock her to sleep. Wouldn't pass that up for the world. By the way...she's almost FOUR!!!

Wordless Wednesday

March for Babies 2012

If you want to read about our previous March for Babies walks just click on the year. 2011 2010 Our first walk was in 2009-but it got rained out. Wah Wah! I was fortunate enough this year to be asked to be Family Team Chairperson for this year's walk. I couldn't have been more thrilled! My resonsibility was meeting and greeting new familes to the walk as well as helping come up with ideas to make the walk more special and memorable and have input on our family team tent. So fun! I had a committee with some great and very special gals and I think we did an awesome job. It was a new experience for me and I know there were things I could have done better or differently but all in all, it was a success. Our team really rallys together and we always have so much fun. My dad's bank gets crazy involved and helps us raise more money than we could have ever imagined. Team Betsy means everything to me and every year I enjoy it a little bit more. Tony and I have already asked ourselves how long we will participate in the March for Babies. It seems when we meet new families or just the families that come to walk always have babies or small children. We have yet to meet a family that still walks with a teenager preemie..so for us we don't know how much longer we will be walking. For the time being we are loving every minute of it. Here are some pics and at the end picture I will give you the total dollar amount Team Betsy raised. Me, Tony and Betsy just before the walk Team Betsy! My award for Family Team Chairperson Award for Top Walker!! Award for Best T-shirt contest (so far we have won every single year. We are kinda obsessed with the t-shirts) Betsy posing with Elmo Betsy' picture and stats along the "survivor wall". Very emotional and cool feature we had along the walk this year. Here is our basket we received from the March of Dimes. Team Betsy placed 74th out of the top 100 in the UNITED STATES! This is the first year that Oklahoma had two teams place in the top 100. The other team was our new and super awesome friend's team Double Gainers. Team Betsy almost doubled what we raised last year and our team total was....drum roll please....$11,600! We are so humbled and overwhelmed by the people who surround us with support and love for our sweet girls.

March of Dimes Sports Headliner

Most of my followers know about our involvement with the March of Dimes and how much we love and support that organization. We were first asked to be an ambassador family a few years ago at their annual Chef's Auction. It was the first time I would ever talk openly about my triplets and the journey we had. It was a disaster. I cried the entire time and couldn't even speak. Sooooo...when we were approached to once again be an ambassador family for their Sports Headliner Banquet in March of this year I was SUPER excited. I was stronger and felt more relaxed about sharing my story. I practiced my speech over and over again. And when I say speech, I really mean the birth story of my girls and everything Betsy had to go through. I wrote everything out on my iPad so not to leave anything out and brought that on stage with me. This time I got to rehearse before the event actually started so I was on stage with microphone and everything so I could get the full effect. During rehearsal I got choked up a little, because it really is still overwhelming. However, during the live event I have to say I totally rocked it. I stood confident and didn't even feel nervous. I spoke about Grace and Olivia with such power-what I have always wanted to do. I told Betsy's story and as I scanned the audience there were three ladies who cried the entire time. It totally caught me off guard and for a split second I lost track of what I was saying. My story is so meaningful to me and my family but when I see it truly have that effect on total strangers is what really hits home for me. It's amazing to see that. To really know that my girl is having an impact on others. That is exactly what I have always wanted and I felt as though these people really 'got it' and know exactly what a miracle my child is and what all the March of Dimes stands for. It was a beautiful thing and I couldn't have asked for a better outcome. It was a great night. I got to have my mom there and my dad's bank bought a table so I got to have my dad and brother there and some friends which really means so much to me and Tony. I couldn't possibly be where I am today without the support of my family and friends and to have them there sharing something that means so much to all of us really is important. I would love to get the chance to be ambassador family again for other events because I absolutely love it. Maybe one day we can be the feature family for March for Babies since that is my PASSION! Here are some highlights from Sports Headliner: This was at rehearsal. This is a section of the hockey rink that has the March of Dimes logo on it. She was not impressed to have to pose for a pic after being told she could NOT play on the ice. Haha! Our table: Me, Tony and Betsy on our special night In case you live under a rock..this is Chris Harrison...he's kinda famous. And he's so super good looking! Betsy thought so too. Betsy's special Ambassador award she received. This was such a special and fun evening! P.S. I am not sure what is up with this weird formatting. My words are all over the place.

Timeline

So I've been debating what to blog about next and how exactly to get everyone caught up on what is happening with us. So last I really blogged about anything was last October. I will start from there and just give a little brief summary of what has been going on each month or so and get caught up on today! OCTOBER 2011~ *Betsy was Raggedy Ann for Halloween. She really wanted to be Strawberry Shortcake but it's always cold on Halloween and the Strawberry Shortcake outfit was just too short and it had short sleeves. What is a cute costume if you gotta cover it up with a coat so I always like to pick costumes that are warm or can be easily modified to be warm. I found this costume at a consignment store for $20 and decided it was the perfect time to introduce her to Raggedy Ann! She didn't care. She has fun with whatever so until she is a bit older, we have great influence on what she wears! And seriously...how ADORABLE is she?!? DECEMBER 2011~ *I lost one of my favorite men in the entire world. My sweet Pa. There will never be another man like him and no one will ever come close to the kind of person he was. I remember growing up and always being so close to my grandparents and wondering what the day would be like when I would have to say goodbye to one of them. One of the saddest feelings in the world. I miss him terribly but so, so very thankful for all the wonderful memories I have with him. Love you Pa! *The week Pa died was also finals week at school. I had already done all my exams except for Biology and it was scheduled to take place the day after Pa died. Thank goodness I was able to get ahold of my professor and double thank goodness she was so nice and understanding and let me go early the next morning and sit in on her husbands class and take my biology exam. I was so stressed and so sad that I don't know how I passed but I ended up making an A on the final which in turn gave me such awesome grades I was placed on the Dean's Honor Roll! Total brag but so well-deserved if I don't say so myself. *We still went on and managed to have a good Christmas. We had already planned to have Christmas at Ma and Pa's on a certain weekend and that just happened to be the weekend of his funeral. Even though no one really wanted to celebrate Christmas, we still exchanged gifts and made the best out of it for the kiddos. Most of them are old enough to understand but lots of the little ones kept asking where Pa was and that was just so sad. My poor Ma was just so lost and so sad. They had been married for 67 years so all of a sudden what she had known for the past 67 years was gone and she just didn't know what to do. It was just gut-wrenching. *Christmas at our house was fun. I know it will just get better as Betsy gets older but this was the first year she was able to somewhat understand Santa Claus comes and leaves presents and that kind of stuff. This was her on Christmas Eve. We have a tradition of getting Christmas jammies on Christmas Eve but since we had already bought these jammies for a Christmas program at her school (Mother's Day Out) we let her wear them. Sadly, she didn't get to go to her Christmas program because we were out of town due to Pa's passing. Betsy on Christmas Eve. We even made a Gingerbread Christmas Village. EASTER 2012~ *Spent Easter at my grandparent's farm like we do every holiday. Betsy had a blast with her cousins as always and all the little ones decorated giant Easter eggs and we went and put them on Pa's grave and also my cousin Lance's grave which is one spot away from Pa. It was nice and it looked so adorable! We know Pa would have loved that! Here are pics of Betsy dying eggs with her cousins, her posing (kinda!)with her giant egg for Pa, and a pic of her next to her goodies from the Easter bunny. That pretty much sums up our holidays and major events. I am going to follow with a blog about our March of Dimes happenings because pretty exciting stuff going on with that! Of course I didn't touch on everything because I have gotten so far behind it would take me forever to focus on everything and then put me further behind in current events. So there you have it...just some stuff to keep you interested and wow! to see how much Betsy has grown! Hard to imagine her as a tiny 1lb 9 oz miracle! Seems like you blink and she's grown.

Oops...so sorry

Wow. So obviously I haven't had much free time to keep up with this blog. I have been crazy busy with my schooling and it seems like what free time I do have in the evenings I am doing homework or, most likely, catching up on a million DVR'd shows. Betsy goes to bed around 8:30-9, no later, and I'm a sleepy lady by 10. So yup....one solid hour of free time kinda gets filled up fast. I'm going to try my best and I'm sure if I can post just a little every night or every other night then I can keep everyone caught up. So my little lady is growing so fast. She will be 4 years old in just a short couple months. I can't believe it. I am posting this from my iPad so I can't post a picture. Or if I can I haven't figured it out yet. She is so smart. I swear if I would work with her more I bet she could learn to read. She spells out everything and is always asking how to spell things. She can spell and recognize her name, my name, tony's name, mommy, daddy, play, yes, no, stop, up, down, target (maybe I shop there too much), red. The other day I was reading "The Little Red Hen" and she pointed to the word 'hen' and said "that says hen" and then she sounded out the letters. So smart! I don't know...maybe all kids her age can do that and I don't know...but to me she's too smart!! She is still going to her Mother's Day Out one day a week and I also have her in gymnastics for the summer. I'm trying my hardest to get her socialized because I realize it's important at this age but I also am starting to notice that she might be sad she's alone. I mean, she doesn't act sad but she always asks to play with friends and it makes ME really sad because damnit she's supposed to have two permanent playmates. I hate that. I am looking to put her in my church's Sonshine School this fall. It's a Mother's Day Out program but 1) its the same price for two days a week as I'm paying now for one day 2)it's in Edmond so I can correlate it with my school schedule and 3) it's at my church so it's a great Godly environment. Right now she's on the waiting list and I've been told its a short wait list so my fingers are crossed she gets in. Otherwise things are going great and we are enjoying summer! I am taking two classes. They are online classes so I move at my own pace. It's been nice, I mean really nice, not having class in the evenings and being able to be at home with my family. I didn't realize how much I missed cooking dinner until I wasn't doing it 5 nights a week. We got a double park pass to White Water (water park) and Frontier City (amusement park) and we have practically lived there! We all love the water park and probably go there at least three times a week for a few hours each time. We get there when most are leaving, fill up our souvenir cup with ice water and we are good to go! Betsy is a total fish just like her mama. We have a blast! Another thing we did as a family was change churches. We loved our little church here by our house but since it's such a small church there wasnt many other children Betsy's age for her to interact with. So we made the decision to go back to the church I grew up in. They have a huge children's ministry and I have to say when we returned it was like we were never gone. Sitting through church I felt so good. Like I truly felt "home". It was a great feeling. Tony and I have been going to the Young Families class and we love it. Betsy absolutely loves Children's Bible Hour that she goes to during sermon. It's a huge ministry so there is never a shortage of friends. So happy to be there. I'm sure I will think of more that I should have added but my one hour of free time is up and I'm ready for bed! The only reason I'm writing tonight is Betsy went with her Grammy and Grampy and cousins to the baseball game then over for a late night swim to cool off (it's 100 degrees tonight). So even though it's way past her usual bedtime (it's now 10pm and she will be home shortly) I know she is having a blast. It's so hard to make sacrifices sometimes as a mom because usually she is in bed no later than 9pm, but I have to think how much fun she's having and really, what does it hurt her staying up late one night? Man...I've come a long way!

Brown Bunny

I have met so many other babylost mothers either through this blog, facebook or just support groups in general. Most of the mothers I have met place some kind of symbolism on their child in the form of animals. Whether it be butterflies, dragonflies, doves or even bluejays. Now that I put it in writing I can see the consensus is mostly things that obviously fly. I am the type of person that places symbolism on a lot of different things. I am very sentimental and believe in the 'signs' that I probably really just make up in my head if they seem appropriate to relate to something. Regardless, the story of my neighborhood brown bunny I think, is a pretty good one. Maybe you can find the symbolism as well.

When I was released from the hospital after I had the triplets, I remember so much looked different. I had been in the hospital on complete bed rest for over 2 weeks and so much looked different as I watched the road pass from the passenger seat window. The hospital is only a 10 minute drive from our house but there is lots of buildings on the way. I was surprised how some buildings were no longer standing, and there were even a few new ones. I don't know, just overall the entire world looked so different. Maybe I had too much on my mind. I had just lost Grace 3 days before and my other two girls were fighting for their lives. It was so weird to leave the hospital without them and so I am sure my mind was elsewhere. The point of me telling that is maybe I had seen this bunny before and just didn't realize it or even think about it.

So driving through the back of our neighboorhood I see this little brown bunny hopping around in someone's yard. At that very moment that I saw it I immediately placed Grace's symbolism on it. I thought to myself, 'I've never seen that bunny in all the years I've lived here and then all of a sudden I see a bunny?' It is pretty random to see a bunny hopping around freely. So very briefly I thought that was my girl Grace letting me know she was okay.

It was nice to see that bunny but to be quite honest I didn't think about it again. After all, I'm sure it was just a one-time thing to see it and so that was that. But a few days later after coming home from visiting the girls in the hospital I saw the bunny again. Except this time that brown bunny was sitting right in the middle of my yard. It had made it's way from the very back of the neighborhood to my yard. Not just anyone's front yard but MY front yard.

As soon as we would pull into the driveway he would hop away but that doesn't matter. He was THERE and he stayed just long enough for me to see him. This happened about 3-4 days in a row. So time passed, days turned into weeks and I began seeing the bunny less frequently. At one point I had actually gone many months without seeing him. Then very sporadically I would see him just hanging around. Sometimes in our yard, sometimes down the street. But he wasn't far.

Eventually I quit seeing that bunny and I just assumed he was gone. I am not sure on the life span of a bunny but after a few years of just seeing him on occasion it kinda got lost in my memory. It had been a long time since I had seen him. I finally saw him again coming home one evening in the month of June of this year and I stopped my car to take a picture but it was too dark. I guess I should mention I usually only saw him in the evenings. The only time I had seen him during the day was the first few months he started coming around. So, after the record-breaking heat we had this summer I got to thinking about that bunny and if he was still around and if he had found some shelter in the heat.

So a few months passed and once again, I quit seeing him that much. Late in the month of August, a dear friend of mine gave birth to her beautiful daughter, Hailey who was stillborn. That very day she lost her baby who popped up in my yard but that brown bunny. I literally got chills all over my body. Was it Grace letting me know she knew about Hailey and she was okay? I prayed that night that I would be able to be of some comfort to my friend Ashley and her husband and so maybe the bunny was put there to let me know all was going to be okay.

A few weeks later I had Ashley and her daughter over so she and Betsy could play. Ashley and I were sitting in the living room talking about Hailey, Grace and Olivia. I had the front door open because Tony had just come home. All of a sudden, brown bunny hopped into my front yard and stopped right outside the door as though he was looking right into the house. I almost started crying. So I told Ashley about the symbolism of the bunny and how strange it had been soooo long since I had seen him and he (1) shows up the day her little girl passed away and then (2) actually shows up DURING THE DAY--which has never happened--and shows up the very day she is at my house. I swear if that bunny doesn't hold some kind of symbolism then it's timing is just too perfect. I love brown bunny.

My Pumpkin

First of all, has it really been a month since I last blogged? Wow. I have to say, being a full-time stay at home mom and a full-time college student is really kicking my be-hind. Seems like I'm always behind or forgetting something lately. So I guess I will kinda sum up our month of October.

Betsy started back to Mother's Day Out. Her teacher from last year had actually moved up so in her new class she has the same teacher, which made both Betsy and I very happy because we just love her! I think she does great in 'school', as we call it, and she loves going. It's fun to hear her talk about her friends at school and to recall what she did for the day. She usually remembers everything. We are still working on potty training. I certainly don't know what the issue is. Betsy has been sooo easy in everything we have done, such as taking off bottle, getting rid of paci, etc. I just KNEW she would potty train just as easily. Boy did she fool me! She recognizes her potty chart. She understands the rewards and prizes she will get when she uses the potty. She just flat out won't do it! She even pointed to all her prizes that Tony has put on a sheet next to her potty chart and said, "no thanks, I will just wear a diaper." I mean, come on! Really?!? haha. She is SOOO smart. I just don't know why this isn't clicking for her. Maybe a bit of it is just her being stubborn. I don't know. Stay tuned....hopefully she will have a potty chart before she starts kindergarten in a couple years!! Right????

So back to her Mother's Day Out. Since she is in the big girl class now, she gets to go on field trips! Her first trip was going to Chester's Party Barn, which is like a little pumpkin patch/petting zoo place. I knew that I just HAD to go with them. This is my baby! And her first field trip! Well, plus in the back of my mind I was afraid of her running off or something. So a few weeks before her big field trip to the pumpkin patch, Tony and I wanted to take her on just a little family trip to a different pumpkin patch so we could have the experience as a family. We went to the Orr Family Farm and it was so much fun! As she gets older things definitely become more fun. She is just such a blast to be around! Here is a picture of us on the train and a picture of Betsy with her perfect pumpkin that she picked out all by herself.

So here we are on her class field trip. I took a million pictures this day. It was so fun to watch her in a different element, with her friends and teachers and how they all interact. Betsy is just such a good listener, which of course surprised us because...well...she just isn't like that all the time with us!
Here is Betsy with some of her classmates. I like this because they do this thing where they "strap their seatbelts and make bubbles". This gets the kids to fold their arms in front of them and puff out their cheeks. Keeping their hands to themselves and being quiet is the point.
I think it's pretty cute.

Here are the girls lining up to ride the ponies.

Getting ready for lunch. The girl next to her is her "very best friend ever". Her name is Caden.

So this is about the point where my camera died, naturally. She was so adorable this day playing with her friends. I think as a mother, one of your worst fears is that no one will ever play with your kid, haha. I was very happy to see her having friends. I love my little pumpkin!

Three Year Wellness Check

On Thursday I took Betsy in for her 3-year-old well-child check up. I absolutely love her pediatrician. She really takes extra special care of my girl and I like that she goes above and beyond for us. Betsy is growing perfectly and is actually close to catching up in her weight for a "normal" three-year-old. She is almost in the 50th percentile for weight but for her BMI she is in the 20th percent. She weighs 31 pounds and she is 39 inches long. She's in the 90th percentile in height. Tall and skinny....lucky girl! Her pediatrician said she is almost as tall as most 4 year olds.

She is developmentally right on track. When she graduated out of Sooner Start she was totally caught up on her speech and tested at the level of a 4 year to 4 year 11 month in terms of comprehension and reasoning. That's GREAT! We all new she was smart! She has great problem-solving skills and trys over and over until she has accomplished something.

We have been working on coloring inside the lines and although she can't quite do it she does concentrate on coloring one specific thing even if she can't stay in the lines. She can draw a face complete with a round face, two eyes, a nose and a mouth. All in the right spots. She loves, loves to color. She can hold scissors properly but isn't able to actually open and close them with one hand and cut but I don't think she is ready for that yet.

She has known her alphabet and numbers up to 20 for a while but she also can count in Spanish to 8. She skips the number 9 in Spanish and sometimes says 10. We are working on what sounds the letters of the alphabet makes and her favorite thing is T-T-T-T-T says Turtle. She recognizes letters of the alphabet and when she sees things that start with "Be" she yells, "That's my name!" She absolutely loves books especially Pinkalicious. Of course!

We have always worked on manners and she knows what "rude" is and to "be nice always". She always says thank you, please and your welcome. She's great about saying "excuse me" when someone is in her way and when she meets another child she introduces herself. "Hi, I'm Betsy." I love to hear her say that.

We aren't to a point where she is interested in potty training yet. She did great about a month ago when I was workng with her really good but a few times she did pee-pee in the potty and for some reason it really freaked her out. Ever since then she has kinda been hesitant about the potty and I haven't pushed. I encourage but when she gets upset then I stop. She's peaked interest just within the past couple days so we will reintroduce her to the process soon.

I know this blog is nothing but a big ole BRAG but she certainly deserves it. She is so much fun to be around and talks NONSTOP. She is always on the move and very curious about everything. She loves to sing songs and 'tell stories'. She will make up the cutest things. I am absolutely head over heels in love with this girl. It's totally bittersweet to see her become such a big girl. She isn't my baby anymore, she's a little kid. I certainly cherish every moment and have really enjoyed watching her grow up and become such a good little lady.

The Power of a Song

I heard a song today on the radio, one of many that I absolutely love and it just tugged at my heartstrings so I decided to add it to my list. I have a list compiled in my head and heart that remind me of Grace and Olivia. The list grows nearly every week, as there are always new songs coming out that I can somehow relate to them. I wanted to share my list with you but really, there are so many songs. I do want to share my most favorite one with you. I heard, really heard the words to this song about a year after the girls died. We sang it in my dad's church and I literally had to walk out because I started crying. The words never spoke to me before then. I picked this song also for my cousin Lance's funeral because truly the words just are SO meaningful and powerful. I miss my girls and I miss Lance so very much. Tonight, I just had to share this song and the most beautiful version I have ever heard.

Betsy is 3

It seems so crazy to say I have a 3-year-old now. She is such a big girl!! It's like even when she was 2 she still seemed like a baby to me. But now that she is 3, she just seems so much more grown up. Awe. It's so bittersweet. It makes me wish I could preserve every single second I have with her and never, ever forget any little thing she says or does. I can't believe how fast the past three years have gone by for me and if the next three go by just as fast then she will be...gulp!....six! She is so very precious to me and every single day is a blessing, that is for sure.

We had Betsy's 3rd birthday this year in Lovey's backyard. "Lovey" is my mom. We have a favorite park we have had her birthdays in the past but it was so hot this year we wanted to do water toys plus last year we had a slight bee issue at the park and even my cousin got stung! So we chose my mom's backyard and grilled out hot dogs and let the kids swim. It was still hot for us adults but everyone brought their lawn chairs and there was plenty of shade. It wasn't as bad as I had anticipated and I think everyone had a good time. I was so glad for those who came. I always worry that she won't have any friends at her party! She had so much fun and she sure loves all her friends. She talks about them for days and days after we have seen them so I know she truly likes being with them.




We had our traditional balloon release to remember Grace and Olivia since it's their birthdays too. I always love doing this. Betsy is getting old enough to wonder why we are letting balloons go so I need to explain things to her. It's just too hard to mention their names around her. Because they are so much a part of her.

Balloons for my girls...


After everyone pigged out on hot dogs and birthday cake and we said goodbye to all our friends, it was time to end our birthday celebration and we plopped Betsy and her cousin Allie in the bathtub to clean up. In Betsy's words, Allie is her "very best friend EVER!" They are exactly a month apart and I know they will grow up great friends.


Betsy and Allie the next morning. Betsy's actual birthdate. Happy Birthday Big Girl!


We treated Betsy to lunch at Jimmy's Egg and the "Egg Man" was even there, which she loved.


After lunch we took Betsy to Toys R' Us to pick out whatever she wanted for her birthday. She picked out an Olivia chair and a microwave for her kitchen. Very cute. Then we took her to the mall to play and for a special cookie treat. After that we decided to pay a visit to the NICU to visit those special nurses who took care of Betsy for her first 4 months of life. She was the first one to come out and see Betsy when we got there. Betsy went right over to her and hugged her and hugged her...and wouldn't let go. She literally just squeezed Nurse Kathy for the longest time.


Now, Betsy doesn't do that with ANYONE! Tony and I just stood there teary-eyed just wondering if Betsy felt some kind of bond with her and remembered how much she cared for her. Kathy was one of those nurses who we knew genuienely LOVED Betsy. And you know that when Betsy was tiny and Kathy would care for her she could feel that love. So I just wonder if she felt something...that connection. It was so sweet to watch and it really made me happy. We formed a very special bond with the nurses there and it's great to go back and visit. They all like to marvel over Betsy and how big she has become. Can you imagine it from their perspective? They, more than anyone, knew how fragile my baby's life truly was and it really must be amazing to watch 'their' babies grow up.

So overall the birthday went by great. Things are getting a little easier in terms of not having my triplets. Especially the 3rd birthday, since there are 3 of them...the birthday possibilities would have been endless. I just have to hope and pray that I am truly doing the right thing in honoring them and keeping their memory alive. I actually had someone say (at the balloon release), "oh i forgot..." My heart just shattered. That's exactly what I DONT want...is someone to forget about my girls or why we do the things we do for them. They are very much still a part of Tony and I and will continue to live through Betsy. Please don't ever forget....

So Long Summer

Well even though we are going on 50+ days of triple digit heat, my summer has officially ended. Today I started my fall semester back at UCO. I am glad to be back in the swing of things but we have totally gotten off our routine and I have not been able to get Betsy back into a schedule. She has been sleeping in (sometimes almost 10am!) and we have been skipping naps. She will still go to bed around 8:30, no later than 9. I have been trying to get her back on schedule but haven't been successful. I am fortunate enough that while I am in school Tony will be home with her and while he is working, I am home so really I'm not as concerned about getting her back on a nap schedule as I used to be. She has adjusted fine without one and is seldom grumpy so I guess she will be fine not taking naps anymore. Next week she will start back to her Mother's Day Out program which I am really excited about. She absolutely loves going to 'school' and has so much fun there. She loves playing with other children and making new friends. She is such a social little girl.

So here is a recap of some of the things we have been doing over the past few weeks. The temperatures have been well into the 100s and all the way up to 114 degrees. It has been entirely too hot to do much of anything outdoors but on the rare occasion that it wasn't TOO hot we tried to play out as much as possible after breakfast. Like I said, those days were few and far between. We spent alot of time at the mall at the play area to let Betsy run off some energy. I have felt really bad that we didn't do much more this summer and I'm starting to feel really guilty about not putting her in more activities. As much as she loves other children, she really needs to do more. But, money doesn't fall from the sky and some things I have wanted to put her in just aren't within our budget at the moment. Just one more week until Mother's Day Out and then I will feel better about everything. I know she's just (almost) 3-years-old but she really does need more friends.

Here we went to a neighborhood splash pad. She loved it and even proclaimed, "this is the best day ever!"




She did finish up her dance classes. She really enjoyed going to those and had lots of fun. I would LOVE to keep her in them but our issue right now is the only classes offered are in the late afternoons/evenings and that is when I am in school this semeser so that really won't work out. Here she is at her last dance class. We got to go in for Visitor's Day and watch her in action. I know I have already blogged about her dance class but she is. so. cute. I can't resist more pics.





A big milestone we hit was that we got to say good-bye to Sooner Start. Betsy was only seeing Lindy, her speech pathologist, since her speech was so delayed but she has actually been caught up for a few months now. Lindy was just still coming to see Betsy because she loved her so much, of course! Hey, those were her words not mine! :) Anyway, we were so, so very thankful for the services of Sooner Start and helping Betsy get caught up to where she should be. I hear stories of children who were born not even as early as Betsy and how they aren't doing as well as her. Just another reason to be so blessed with our little Betsy and just how amazing she is. We truly are going to miss our speech path. She was so much fun. OH! and as ironic as it is...me and Lindy actually went to fifth grade together. How funny is that!! On her last day she and Betsy had a special birthday picnic. We were sorry to say goodbye to her but it's always a great thing to graduate out of Sooner Start.


So, I really don't have much to blog on. I just wanted to catch up from the beginning of August. I will be super busy. I'm taking night classes Monday-Thursday, one morning class on Tuesdays and then on online class. I am already feeling overwhelmed and I'm super nervous about this semester. I just want to do good. I don't want to lose my dream and I'm just hoping I didn't bite off more than I can chew. I will still have all day to be home with Betsy which is wonderful and I am glad for that. I love my little girl!