One-Third

I've been thinking alot more lately about Grace and Olivia and what they would be like. It's getting easier for me to do this without just bursting into tears every single time I think of them and try to imagine their sweet little faces. It sucks so bad to have a child and never, ever know what they would have looked like or what they would sound like or what kind of adults they would grow up to be. Now that Betsy is getting older and developing her own independence it's really fun to imagine what our life would really be like right now.

Betsy is a complete handful. And those of you who know her well know that this girl keeps us on our toes as though we had all three girls. My dad told me shortly after we brought Betsy home that he bet she would make us not miss the girls so much...that she would have enough energy for all three. Boy, he couldn't have been more on spot with that statement. This girl is a ball of energy. She DOES NOT sit still for a second. She is constantly in motion and we can't help but wonder...how in the world would this have worked with Grace, Betsy AND Olivia??

Not long after we found out we were having triplets we started adjusting everything we did to fit how our lives would be with three babies. We would count high chairs everywhere we went. We had the layout of their bedroom and where three cribs would go. We imagined how we would position ourselves at church. We thought about how tough it would be to go grocery shopping and where would we set all three girls. We imagined taking them to the movies and having all three lined up, Tony and I at each end. We laughed thinking about how we would need a mini-van and how in the world we would ever squeeze in three car seats.

We still do this.

I still turn around to look at Betsy in the backseat of the car and wished with all my heart I was seeing three babies back there. I wish it wasn't so easy to fit all Betsy's clothes in her closet. I wish I had so many different outfits, blankets and shoes that we would have to use the hall closet for some clothes...just like we imagined. Everything we do now should be harder. At least 2/3 harder. Going to church shouldn't be as easy as taking Betsy by the hand and leading her to the car. We should be chasing three running, screaming girls all around the house trying to get them lined up to go out the door. Our tiny bathroom, the one that we had to squeeze Betsy's potty chair in, should be even more crowded with two more potty chairs. And three high chairs? Where in the world would we set three high chairs!?!

Things just should be different.

Sometimes Betsy gives me the biggest headache...sometimes she is just such a little pistol with all her energy and I get so frustrated. I have to stop and think that this is just one-third of what my life should be like. I am so incredibly lucky to have Betsy in my life. She is a blessing far beyond anything I ever imagined.

We were completely right when we said our lives would be forever changed the day we found out we were expecting triplets. We were right. Just not in the way that we expected. We will forever be two-thirds empty.