Stop Growing Up, PLEASE

It seems like time is literally flying. I remember when Betsy was a little baby someone stopped us outside a restaurant to look at her and commented on how fast they grow and to enjoy every single moment. I feel like I do that but then I turn around and she's grown so much more. I swear I wish I could bottle her laugh and keep it forever. I wish I could keep her innocent, take away her fears and anxieties and never let anything ever hurt her. I wish she would never know pain and never have a stress in the world. I wish that every single time she looked at me she would know I would do anything in the entire world for her. I hope she never doubts my love for her and I pray that she can talk to me about anything. May there never be a time where she won't need me. I love this little girl more than life itself and I thank the Lord for sparing this precious miracle and giving me the little girl I have always wanted.

There were times when I was pregnant with the triplets that I imagined how all three of them would play together. I wholeheartedly wish Betsy knew what it was like to play with a sibling. I hope that she doesn't hold that against us one day and wonder why we never had a brother or sister for her to play with. I strongly believe that she will understand and that in due time she will know that the decision her mommy and daddy made not to have any more children (even if we could conceive naturally) was probably in the best interest. The thought of losing another baby is too much to deal with and although I hope she never feels that pain, I do hope she understands.

In this year of 2013, she will start Pre-K. To say I have anxiety about this is the hugest understatement. I have been dreading that moment since she was two years old. She is MY baby and the thought of sending her off to school scares the bejeezus out of me. I may be a slightly paranoid overprotective extra caring parent but I worry so much about her and I think the thought of sending her to school scares me because it means I am not in control. What if she doesn't have any friends? What if she is teased? What is the teacher is mean to her? What if she falls and gets hurt? And my utmost fear-what if she is kidnapped? I know I sound crazy but seriously folks, I literally shake with anxiety of sending her to school. She is just so little, so young, so...MINE.

I have so many hopes and dreams for her future. I pray every single night that I am doing things right and that I am a good mother because there are days I have my doubts. Is that normal? I only have one shot at this and I want to make sure it's perfect. I want her to have everything she wants in life and I hope I'm steering her in the right direction. Yes we spoil her. She is our one and only and in my opinion I don't think a child can be spoiled as long as it's done properly.

As I sit here and type this and listen to her over the monitor sleeping so soundly, I can't help but think about how our lives would be so different in we had all three girls. I can only imagine the chaos and the fun we would have. But as I wonder how things would be so different with Grace, Betsy and Olivia, I also reflect on how things are right now. I wish with every ounce of my being that I had all my girls here every second of every day. But I also am thankful for having the opportunity to just have a child at all. A child that I can't believe is 4 years old.

Betsy Linn, you are the absolute light of my life. No one could love you more.

Finally

A few months ago our computer totally went out which makes blogging almost impossible. It's too hard to type a blog from our Ipad and plus I can't add pics when typing on the Ipad either so anyway, my most awesome mother got us a new laptop for Christmas and so yay! I can blog again.

I've been on my Christmas break from school for two weeks, which means I go back in two weeks (BOO!). It's not TOO bad-I only have a year and a semester left so that is great. I am hoping I didn't bite off more than I can chew with this upcoming semester. I just don't have that many classes left and trying to get all my classes in is proving to be pretty challenging. I am making a HUGE change in my schedule, not by my choice really but because it is the only time these classes are offered, so when I go back on January 14th, I will be going in the mornings and Tony will be working evenings. That's a flip-flop from what we have been doing as I have been taking evening classes. So that will be a change for us and I hope that Betsy will adjust okay to the change as well. She will be spending more day time with Tony so I am sure she will enjoy that. As for me...well on certain mornings I will be getting up at 5:30am and I haven't done that in a reeeeeeeaaaaaalllly long time! But I am pretty excited. I will be home in the afternoon and evening time and I am looking forward to the change. I am so thankful Tony can rearrange his schedule and that his boss and co-workers are willing to work with him so well. I do feel bad that he will be working evening hours but we have to do what we have to do to get me through school. It won't be for long and then we can go back to some normalcy. I am so ready to graduate! I think this will be such an amazing chapter in our lives and I never would have thought I would have finished college and earned a degree. It's exciting. Nowadays it's so hard to lead the live you want to live without both adults of a household working and Lord knows we have had our struggles. I am moving forward to provide the kind of life we so want for Betsy.

Our Christmas was wonderful. I said it last year but it rings true again this year--it just keeps getting better. I tell ya, when you have a little one in the house, Christmas has a whole new meaning and it's such a fun feeling to see her sweet little face light up, I mean it just makes my heart completely melt! Here is Betsy on Christmas morning in her new jammies she got to open on Christmas Eve.



She is the complete light of my life!!

Sonshine School

Last week Betsy started preschool at our church. It's called Sonshine School and it's two days a week from 9:30-2:30. It is cheaper than what I was paying at her old Mother's Day Out and that was only one day a week. I was excited to get the call she was accepted after being on the waiting list for a while. I love this because it is at our church and they incorporate Biblical lessons into their curriculum. She recognizes lots of friends from church so that was fun for her. This week was her first full week and I was slightly anxious about how she would do since she hasn't experienced a two-day a week program. She loves it and of course her teachers have wonderful things to say about her every day I pick her up. I was able to find a class that works with my school schedule that coorelates with her time at school so it works perfect. I drop her off and go hang out at my mom's house for a couple hours (she lives really close to UCO) and have those wonderful two hours to do NOTHING but sit and watch TV. Ahhhh...so nice! So after my class ends I have a little time to kill before picking Betsy back up. I have enjoyed it because now on those two days I don't have evening classes! Yippee!

If this is a precursor to Pre-K then she will do awesome. As for me? I'm not so sure. It's a really, really hard pill to swallow to watch your one and only baby grow up and move onto big milestones.

Here is Betsy on her first day at Sonshine School. She is just such a beam of light! I took this picture, got her situated in her class, kissed and hugged her a million more times then bolted to my car and sat there for about 10 minutes and cried.

My baby isn't so much a baby...

She's a big girl now at 4 years old.
We had her birthday at a bouncy house this year and it was a big hit. The birthdays past we have had her birthday party outside which I have always enjoyed because I love making her birthday a big deal. She is a big deal and her birthay was a big deal. I always want to make sure it is a very special time for her. It has just been so stinkin' hot!

This year was extra special because all of her cousins came from out of town and spent our special day with us. That meant so much to me and Betsy loved having everyone there! As she gets older it is so fun to watch her make friends and to see how she interacts with each different friend. She is very social and I thought it was neat how she made a point at her party to play with each person.

Of course we always remember Grace and Olivia at Betsy's parties, but this year we chose to remember and celebrate them in private which I enjoyed. I certainly don't want to make any one uncomfortable at the party and Betsy is old enough to ask questions and so I felt this year was best to remember my angels just between our family. It seems so crazy to think I should have three 4-year-olds.

I got a cute idea from a mom friend of mine, to make a birthday chain to count down the days until her 4th birthday! This was fun and an activity that actually held Betsy's attention so it was a WIN! situation.
All the links decorated and ready to make into a chain


The finished chain


This year I got a little crafty and made a birthday dress for Betsy. I think I did pretty good!


Notice the butterflies on the back-for her sisters


Here are a few pictures from Betsy's birthday party. I wish I could have gotten all her friends together for a group pic. I regret that. The best I have is everyone darting in different directions...they all liked the bounce house apparently. Haha! I am so blessed for the friends and family that are in our lives.






On Betsy's real birthdate we took her to Toys R Us to let her pick out her very own bike. She is part of the birthday club so she got hooked up with a birthday crown and a birthday balloon.


Betsy and her new bike from Mommy and Daddy


Happy Birthday to my tiny miracle...who isn't so tiny anymore.

Week ending...

I finished my first week of school. It was rough on me. I think I got spoiled since this summer all I took was online classes so I was at home and could just do my work whenever. Then I had a three-week break before this fall semester. GEEZ..It's killing me! I guess the upside is I only have class two nights out of the week. I have my Accounting class on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons and then I have Embalming Chemistry online. I haven't had an afternoon class in FOREVER so it's really weird to me. And ridiculously busy. I mean the entire UCO campus is always hopping and parking is an absolute NIGHTMARE. There are about 1/3 parking spaces as there are students. Parking gets mean. People are nasty. I basically have to leave my house an hour before my class starts because minus the 20 minute drive, it takes about that long to find a spot...or at least circle around until someone leaves. Yes, crazy. But on a positive note, I absolutely love my classes (except Accounting). Someone please tell me why a funeral service major needs to have Accounting. I swear I am the only one in class who isn't a finance or some kind of business major. This is a required class for my major and I don't like it! I'm also taking Funeral Service Statutory Law and Funeral Service Communication. So interesting! I'm glad to be almost done and taking my major classes are really fun. I'm a junior this year so only a little over a year to go! Also-something totally awesome-Betsy got into Sonshine School at our church! She has been on the waiting list for a while so a spot finally opened for her! Sonshine School is our church's Mother's Day Out program but they offer so much more than just a typical mother's day out. They have chapel time where they learn the Word of God and they also have cooking! I am super excited about this opportunity and I think it is so ideal for Miss Betsy right now. She is not going to Pre-K this year (I will blog on that later) and so our two-day a week Sonshine School is just perfect! Plus I was able to rearrange my school schedule so while she is in school, I will have my accounting class. That way I am not driving 20 minutes so many times a day. Her school starts in couple weeks so lots of adjusting until it's time for her to go. She is really excited. I am so thankful Tony is in the position at his work so that he can rearrange his schedule as needed to really help out. It's important while I am in school since my classes are only available at certain times. Another thing I need to get going is my apprenticeship! I have to apply for that within the next few weeks and then I get to go in front of the Funeral Board and get accepted to be an apprentice! I am WAAAAY excited to do this. That means I am just that much closer to finishing and a great way to get my foot in the door. So my darling Betsy is done reading her night time books with her Daddy. That is my cue to snuggle and rock her to sleep. Wouldn't pass that up for the world. By the way...she's almost FOUR!!!

Wordless Wednesday

March for Babies 2012

If you want to read about our previous March for Babies walks just click on the year. 2011 2010 Our first walk was in 2009-but it got rained out. Wah Wah! I was fortunate enough this year to be asked to be Family Team Chairperson for this year's walk. I couldn't have been more thrilled! My resonsibility was meeting and greeting new familes to the walk as well as helping come up with ideas to make the walk more special and memorable and have input on our family team tent. So fun! I had a committee with some great and very special gals and I think we did an awesome job. It was a new experience for me and I know there were things I could have done better or differently but all in all, it was a success. Our team really rallys together and we always have so much fun. My dad's bank gets crazy involved and helps us raise more money than we could have ever imagined. Team Betsy means everything to me and every year I enjoy it a little bit more. Tony and I have already asked ourselves how long we will participate in the March for Babies. It seems when we meet new families or just the families that come to walk always have babies or small children. We have yet to meet a family that still walks with a teenager preemie..so for us we don't know how much longer we will be walking. For the time being we are loving every minute of it. Here are some pics and at the end picture I will give you the total dollar amount Team Betsy raised. Me, Tony and Betsy just before the walk Team Betsy! My award for Family Team Chairperson Award for Top Walker!! Award for Best T-shirt contest (so far we have won every single year. We are kinda obsessed with the t-shirts) Betsy posing with Elmo Betsy' picture and stats along the "survivor wall". Very emotional and cool feature we had along the walk this year. Here is our basket we received from the March of Dimes. Team Betsy placed 74th out of the top 100 in the UNITED STATES! This is the first year that Oklahoma had two teams place in the top 100. The other team was our new and super awesome friend's team Double Gainers. Team Betsy almost doubled what we raised last year and our team total was....drum roll please....$11,600! We are so humbled and overwhelmed by the people who surround us with support and love for our sweet girls.